


Enduring

by KaleaKalao



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Jealousy, Love Triangles, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-15 17:22:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5793343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaleaKalao/pseuds/KaleaKalao
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Following the events of Trespasser, Elliana Lavellan and her companions begin formulating a plan to find Solas and save him if they can. With this development Cullen's feelings about the Inquisitor become more difficult to repress. </p><p>My first attempt at writing or fan fiction. I have several more chapters in mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Enduring

"What?!" Cullen could not help but say incredulously.

"Save him" said Inquisitor Elliana Lavallen standing over the map of the Tevinter Empire which she had moments before struck a dagger into.

"Solas was our friend. He IS our friend. I will not seek to mobilize against him with the intent to destroy him. We must save him from himself".

Cullen stayed silent as Cassandra nodded in agreement and Lilianna began discussing the pitfalls of working within the same framework as the now disbanded Inquisition. Although furious, Cullen's mind immediately began targeting obstacles to the Inquisitor's plan as well as possibilities in overcoming them. He jolted internally, moving his mind away from collaboration with the Inquisitors intentions, his thoughts rolling over the thought of How? How can she still see the good in him after everything he has done to her?

He pondered this as he appraised the beautiful inquisitor across the table. The Dalish elf who he knew not only lost an arm with Solas' revelation, but a piece of who she really was. He had been the one to find her inside the Eluvian. When her companions who had joined her on the mission to disrupt the Qunari plat had returned to the Winter Palace, they had been frenzied with concern for Elliana's safety. Cole frantically approaching Cullen "She went in and I …I cannot sense her. I cannot help her there, she is far far away". They all had returned to the Eluvian in which the Inquisitor had stepped through, but no one had been able to follow. It appeared to be blocked by some unknown force. In moment of frustration he had slammed his fist against the mirror, but instead of impacting the surface, which had been the case for everyone who tried to pass through prior, Cullen stumbled through the mirror into courtyard full of petrified Qunari.

Cullen had only a moment to gaze upon the sight of the stone forces of the Qun before he spotted a figure stumbling towards him from the crest of a crumbling staircase. The figure lurched forward, appearing to be clutching at their chest and then suddenly collapsed as they reached the base of the stairs. Cullen charged forward as he recognized the dark hair which obscured Inquisitor's face. She had been far away and as rushed towards her his heart sank with dread. He could now see that she had not been clutching her chest but the stump of her left arm, which was bleeding profusely. Kneeling down, Cullen immediately placed a tourniquet on the ravaged appendage and once he was assured that she would not immediately bleed to death he looked at her face. Maker please let her be breathing, he thought as he gently brushed the tendrils of hair away. She was so pale, obviously in shock from the loss of her arm as well as the loss of blood.

"Elliana! Elliana can you hear me?!" She responded rolling her head towards his voice and opening her piercing ice blue eyes. This was the only time she had ever looked at him and he had not been frozen by the clear direct gaze of the Inquisitor. Instead her eyes were glazed and brimmed with tears. She softly murmured "I knew it. I think I knew it at the Winters Palace…"

"Shhh shhhh, don't try and speak Inquisitor. I have you", he said as he gathered her in his arms. She was so slight that it took almost no effort to sweep her off the stone surface. Again she murmured that she knew it, her head lolling back in his arms. He began to return to the Eluvian, praying that it did not lock them out of Thedas forever. Trying to be reassuring he gathered her closer, gently saying "I don't know what happened, but you're safe now". She looked up at him suddenly, her eyes full of sorrow and despair while at the same time barely lucid. Those eyes that he had often felt shaken to his core now expressed such hurt and longing he felt his own heart break. She stared at him for a moment and then uttered one word before completely loosing consciousness within his arms. A word that was able to communicate her sorrow, her loss both physically and emotionally. A word that instantly explained everything that had transpired. A word that had tormented him from the moment he had heard the elven apostate refer to her as such.

"Vienan".

Now he stood across from her, listening to his comrades beginning the initial strategy in order to "save" Fen'Harel, the apparent elven god who was intending on destroying all of Thedas. The man who had left her wounded and bleeding within the crossroads. Left her heart broken and confused in Crestwood. Who had discarded her, once she had served his purposes in defeating Coryphaeus.

When he had received her request to join her in the ruins of Haven, he immediately left the Templar retreat he had established the months following the Inquisition disbanding. He knew that the meeting was more than likely to plan some sort of retaliation against the betrayer Solas. Nevertheless his heart swelled with excitement at seeing Elliana again and he had hoped that her heart had hardened against the mage. It quickly sank when he first clasped eyes on her. She was thin, waifish, and pale although still beautiful. She would always be beautiful to him. But her face showed none of the strength, warmth and determination of the woman he had followed within the Inquisition. Seeing her like this only further his wrath and anger against the elf Solas, Fen'Harel as they called him and he relished the thought of mobilizing his comrades in destroying him. So when her statement about redeeming the Dread Wolf was put forth, he could nothing but stand still in shock.

He knew the company would agree with her compassionate intentions. Not only would they trust her intuition in this matter, but they had over the many months establishing the Inquisition, developed each their own type of regard for the apostate. His own anger at her proposition seethed over feelings he had dared not fully explore. Feelings of longing that had begun to take root in Haven. That had grown as he had watched her start as a confused overwhelmed prisoner and become a fierce leader who inspired hope and trust in the people that joined their cause. After the destruction of Haven and their relocation to Skyhold, his desire for her had only grown stronger and less bearable. He had finally come to the decision that he would tell her how he felt. He spent days walking the battlements going over what he might say to her. She was after all the Herald of Andraste, savior of all of Thedas. Telling such a woman that you, the Commander of her army, were madly in love with her was no easy matter.

But there was no help for it, more and more his feelings for her became evident to everyone save Elliana herself. Lilianna especially made several remarks, subtly encouraging him to share his "innermost thoughts on her qualities". Furthermore, He was unable to focus on his duties, the raven hair and piercing ice blue eyes of the Dalish huntress catching him off guard. When she went on a mission he would constantly be looking at the gates, praying for her safe return. When she did return and shortly after casually stop by the tower which he had made his personal headquarters, he could not find the words he had practiced so diligently. And yet constantly he imagined running his hair through her lustrous locks, unfastening it from her usual long braid that ran down her back. He could not look at her without thinking about tracing his thumb over her delicate jaw line. Crushing her lips with his own. Placing his hands around her narrow waist and pulling her toward him.

And so he decided to go to her quarters and confess his feelings. Although unsure, he had been bolstered by the many conversations they had had over the past several months. The Inquisitor would often ask about his life, family and past history. She had supported him when he chose to cease using lyrium, placing her hand against his chest and earnestly telling him she cared for him. And there were many moments in which he was fairly sure she was flirting with him, almost as if she was drawing him out, waiting for him to make clear his interest.

Deciding that he needed to come to her rather than be caught unprepared by one of her visits, he had walked up to stairs towards her personal quarters. As he slowly crested the stairs the image came into view of Elliana on the balcony embraced in the arms of Solas the mage apostate. His throat constricted as he watched the elven man slowly run his hands down the length of her slender back, a caress that Cullen himself had imagined himself doing countless times. He quickly turned around, his hands balling into fists as he fought every urge not to disrupt the two lovers and pull Solas away from her and throw the smaller man against the stone wall. As he turned he only heard the words "Ar lath ma Vienan", recognizing the elvish phrase of endearment.

The image of the two elves embracing prevented him from sleeping at all that night and he remained by the fire, trying not to imagine Solas leading the Inquisitor to the bed…touching her….kissing her…undressing her. Over the next few days he tried to find any distraction, including beating the hell out of several new recruits in the practice field. He was surprised when Dorian approached him with an offer to play a game of chess. Although Cullen had felt that his composure had not belied his internal turmoil, the Tevinter mage gave him a number of knowing glances that led Cullen to believe he was not as hard to read as he thought. It was just as the game ended that the Inquisitor had approached them. He held his breath, trying with all his might to continue the presentation of a loyal commander and friend. Before he knew what he was doing he had asked her to join him in a game. He could not say if it was her skill or the distraction of her close proximity that cost him the game but she had won over him easily. Even now he galled at his response to her statement "We should spend more time together. Before he could think about it, his anger bubbled up inside him and he blurted "Wouldn't you rather be spending your time with Solas?" She had blinked surprised as the acknowledgment of her relationship with the elf mage, but then quickly composed herself "Yes, of course, but we can still be friends". How long had he waited for such an opportunity. It had almost been as if she had purposely provided him the opening, and instead he might as well have pushed right into the mage's arms.

Now years later, he stood across from her. It had been two years that he watched her throw herself into the work of the Inquisition after Solas had left. She had smiled little, laughed almost never and no longer visited him in the tower. When Solas left her she had become a ghost of the woman she was before. His jealously of Solas had only been overcome by his despair over what the other man had done to the woman Cullen loved. His anger and resentment towards the mage burned and hardened into a deep core within him. One that was now flaming in a deep seeded fury, a cold painful anger that now washed over him as he looked at Elliana Lavallen.

He broke out of his reverie of hurt and anger. Looking around the room he knew that his blunt statement had been the only betrayal of his anger. The group at the table did not appear to be aware of his of his outrage. Slowly his eyes rose until they were level with the Inquisitor. She met his gaze full on responding to Lilianna's statement regarding Solas' familiarity with the inner circle.

"We shall have to meet new friends then. Solas must not know we are collaborating to stop him. The first step will be to locate his agents. We also must find out why the destruction of Thedas is necessary to his plan to restore the elven world of old. He would not discuss that with me and it leads me to believe that is what is crucial to halting his attempts". She broke Cullen's gaze to meet those of their other companions. He was vaguely aware that Josephine was saying:

"We will be unable to be seen gathering in the open. We must appear as if the inner circle of the Inquisition has disbanded from each other individually as well. Our operations will have to go underground". All nodded in agreement.

"I can continue my training of Harding, Charter and Rector. Although Solas is familiar with my methods he is unaware that they are under my tutelage, and they are surprisingly inventive and intuitive. I would also suggest that we develop a way of communicating that will not be deciphered by Fen'Harel agents. I have a few ideas but I will have to meet with Varric first". Lilianna said eliciting questioning glances from the table.

"I think I know someone who is an expert on secret underground secret societies and may be able to help us out" Elliana said with a half-hearted smirk, Cullen knew that she could only speaking of Sera and her Red Jenny organization.

"Although our friends have gone their separate ways, they each have the ability to be of use to us. I have been rebuilding the Seekers for this very purpose. We are still meager but are growing everyday" said Cassandra. "I know the Iron Bull's chargers grow as a force as well, I can invite him to the Seeker hold under the pretext of hiring them to help rebuild the keep. I will speak to him then about continuing to grow the ranks of the Chargers with trustworthy personnel. I know he will want to be a part of this".

"I have the agents of the House Repose at my call. I cannot be certain, but I am sure that Fen'Harel has not infiltrated their ranks. I will take the necessary steps to ensure he has not" Josephine said darkly. "I …ahem I also have been in contact with Blackwall, he continues his work redeeming the condemned and imprisoned. He has clearly indicated that many of them seek a cause to rally behind."

"And Dorian?" asked Cassandra

"He has his hands full in Tavinter, but has made many allies among the people, noble and common alike. He is a powerful ally and can easily move behind the scenes to support us, especially if we develop a communication system that will not be detected" replied Josephine.

Cullen looked over at Cassandra as she noticeably grimaced She's thinking of Vivianne. It was unspoken among those there that the Divine Victoria would not be approached in this endeavor.

"So we have the beginnings of a plan. I will seek out answers to what Solas is trying to do exactly and why, the knowledge from the Well of Sorrows should be beneficial in that regard. I can at least be helpful there" said Elliana unknowingly glancing down at her missing arm.

Imagining her journeying into ancient ruins alone, unable to fight using her weapon of choice, the bow and arrow, Cullen interjected."I have developed strong relationships with the Templars who have come to me to cease using lyrium. One in particular Roth, is a capable and trustworthy companion. I believe more could be recruited in our cause. I will leave that to Roth and join you in your search for answers Inquisitor, you will need the support". Elliana nodded in agreement and the group mirrored her.

Of course they are ready to follow her; they will always be ready to follow her. She brought them from the brink of destruction and back Cullen thought and so well I maker take me. I would follow her anywhere even though her heart belongs to another.

She had never opened up to anyone about what happened between her and Solas, although all were vaguely aware that there had been a romantic attachment between the two. It was only Cullen who had seen the devastation and despair that Solas' revelation as the Dread Wolf had left her in. It was Cullen who had picked up half dead and bleeding. And now she wanted to redeem Solas rather than strike out against directly. The thought made him sick.

The meeting concluded and the Inquisitor once more met Cullen's eyes stating only "To work" before turning and exiting out the dungeon door. Cullen slowly inhaled, trying to curb his feelings of overwhelming anger with each breathe. No he thought. I will not stay silent this time.

He found himself himself charging after her, closing the door to the dungeon room in which they were meeting and following her down the darkly lit hallway. She turned the corner ahead of him, but not before glancing over and seeing him stalking after her. "Inquisitor!" his voice boomed within the walls. She quickly turned away and disappeared around the corner. He sped his gait and rounded the corner to see her continue to walk ahead. "Inquisitor!" he boomed, causing her only to walk more quickly.

She had heard him. She knew Cullen well enough to know that when she made her intention to redeem Solas he would disapprove immensely. She could not face his anger, his disappointment. She was aware of what fueled his pursuit of her down the hallway. He of all people knew the pain and loss that her lover's betrayal had cost her and she had been prepared this reaction. She understood that he would try to sway her with reason and the authorative directness that she so highly valued in him. Cullen would never place his own feelings above the wellbeing of others and she was afraid that the Commander would tear down her resolve to save her lover. In truth she was ashamed. Ashamed of what Solas had done to her. Ashamed that despite that she still loved him. That she had offered to follow him and to support his cause to restore the elven people. If Cullen caught up with her now, she would not be able to hide her desperation and desire or the fact that the mission to redeem the Dread Wolf was less than about the salvation of Thedas, but more about saving her love. She could not bear letting Cullen see her weakness and regret.

And so she walked faster as he charged after her. She heard his hard footsteps drawing closer and closer. Her heart clenched in her chest at the thought of facing this man. This man who she once felt deep longing for, before being drawn into the dream world of the fade with Solas. A world in which he had regaled her with stories of her lost culture as he claimed he learned from spirits of the fade. When Solas left it was only the immense undertaking of the Inquisition that had kept her from disappearing into the wilderness with the hopes that it would swallow her. That and the hopes that one day, he would come back to her. She could not allow Solas to destroy her world, but she could not deny that she would at almost any cost try to change his heart. This enduring loyalty to him only wavered when she met the golden eyes of the Commander and she could not face his disappointment in her, a man as honorable as him would not understand.

Her gait was interrupted by the large muscular hand which seized her good arm and whirled her around to face Cullen.

"Have you forgotten!? That he left you there, bleeding, dismembered, probably to die?" Cullen growled pulling Elliana in close to his face.

She tried to back away from him but his large frame forced her against the wall. For a moment she could not breathe. He was nearly a foot taller than her and almost a hundred pounds heavier. Although she was aware that she had a concealed dagger up her sleeve and that she could easily (well less easily one handed to be sure) slit his major arties with several dexterous moves she had perfected through her training as an assassin, she was at the same time all too aware of the power of his frame as it backed her up against the wall. She could feel the cold press of his armor against her chest, while at the same time the warmth of his leather leggings as his legs pushed up against her own. For a moment neither one of them breathed as Cullen held the small elven woman's arm, brows furrowed as he appeared to attempt to read her innermost thoughts.

"I don't expect you to understand Cullen…" Elliana said sadly before being interrupted by Cullen.

"I don't understand?" he breathed. Then growled "I don't understand….?"

"I don't understand that you love Solas. That you would do anything to be with him? That you would follow him to ends of the Thedas and beyond? That you would defy the Maker and any other bloody elvish deities you believe in to be at his side? That you would follow him anywhere and do anything to make sure he was safe? To keep him from harm? To lead him to redemption? You don't think I understand that kind of enduring love?" He pressed harder against her his voice becoming more forceful and fervent, his gaze locking onto hers.

A small voice echoed from down the hall behind them "Commander? Is that you? We need you back at the table" Scout Harding called.

Cullen let Elliana go, backing up but still intently staring at her. "I understand completely" he said softly and then more formally "I will prepare to escort you on your journey when you are ready my lady. By your leave Inquisitor".

He turned heel and stalked back down the hallway, leaving Elliana Lavallen alone in the darkened corridor, the meaning behind his words hanging heavily in the air.


	2. Chapter 2: New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a new purpose Elliana and her company must mobilize against the Dread Wolf underground. Amid the preparations and logistics tension still burns between Lavellan and Commander Cullen. Until he finally make his move. 
> 
> How can she move on when a wolf stalks her dreams at night? 
> 
> Some fun banter between companions, Rated M for later chapters :)
> 
> Keep in mind this is my first writing endeavor. I just have so many fantasies as to where I wish the game would go...

Chapter 2: New Beginnings  
Elliana notched an arrow in her bow, pulling the bowstring tight, ready to aim at whatever creature may be lurking around the next corner of the dark cavern. They were scouting their now third potential location for a new headquarters. She had been surprised at how quickly her comrades had begun mobilizing in secret without using their resources openly. Getting in touch with their various networks without the Dread Wolf’s spies finding out was simple enough, albeit time consuming and inefficient. What had quickly become very apparent was that a base of operations was necessary, as well as developing a mode of communication and recruitment that would go undetected. First things first. It was one thing to discreetly summon a secret meeting, but if you had nowhere to rendezvous or to send well vetted recruits to, then no amount of cloak and dagger operations would be successful.  
Thus, Elliana’s research into the ancient world of the Elvhenan had been interrupted by Scout Harding and Cassandra, who intercepted them along their journey and notified them of the current dilemma. The small group consisting of Cullen, Elliana, Harding and Cassandra were assigned the task of scouting ahead for a suitable and hopefully well hidden location to use as headquarters for their efforts against the agents of Fen’harel.  
The first two locations had been complete failures; one was a series of abandoned tree forts deep in the woods of Arlathan and the other had been a network of old ruins in the Hundred Pillars. It had been agreed that establishing on the borders of Tavinter would be the most effective as the Empire appeared to be where Solas himself was amassing. The ruins had been far too decrepit and exposed, while it turned out the city in the trees, although abandoned, still served as a meeting place for many a young lovers. They were now exploring a series of tunnels that had been found by entering a cave deeply nestled in a ravine at the base of the High Reaches. The location was assuredly hidden and hard to reach, if you did not know it was there. Scout Harding had stumbled across it years ago while on recognisance for the Inquisition. The cave was however, anything but abandoned. Infested with every bloody giant bug and lizard in all of Thedas thought Elliana with vexation. So far they had killed countless giant spiders, several big and rather vicious aphid type things and one very large Wyvern.  
Thankfully Elliana had been able to contribute to the fighting. Before setting out on their scouting mission Cassandra had approached her private. In her usual abrupt manner, she had deposited something large and heavy in front of Elliana with a thunk.  
“ A present from Dagna” she declared.  
Peeling back the leather wrappings Elliana had found a carefully crafted arm of obsidian glass, looking suspiciously like it had been casted from an exact replica of her lost left arm. Running her hands over the glass she could feel writing engraved and entwined along the surface.  
“Runes?”  
“It would not be from Dagna if it did not have some arcane function now would it” answered Cassandra wryly.  
Elliana hefted the heavy limb, which had been made with an opening to place her stump in. “It’s very pretty Cassandra, but I think it will be more cumbersome than helpful”.  
“It is not just for prosthetics. Lillianna has arranged for you to meet with a circle of mages from the college. Mages we can trust. There may be a way for you to have a working arm again. They are expecting you in three days’ time”.  
Elliana was speechless “ How…?”  
“Do not expect me to explain the complexity of magic, I only know that you lost your arm to the anchor and we have found a way to possibly give you a new one. Take the chance to be whole my friend”.  
Elliana gently stroked the arm. “Thank you….”  
“Let’s see if it works first, then you can thank Dagna. Also she wanted me to tell you that she expects to examine you thoroughly when next you meet. Evidently after your last trip into the fade she examined you so well that she was able to replicate the measurements of your arm….not creepy at all”  
They had set out the next day to meet the mages, the plan was to rendezvous in some ruins just outside the College. Cullen joined them and continued to be a helpful companion, though there was obvious tension between Elliana and himself. She had been avoiding thinking about their conversation in the dungeon of Haven. He too appeared to be avoiding talking to her at all, except when necessary and always with solemn formality. Fortunately, there had been many distractions that allowed her not to dwell on the young Templar too much. Nevertheless she often found herself watching him during their journey. She missed being able to talk to him and she was in all honesty, extremely nervous about the thought of regaining her arm. The loss of her ability to fire a bow had been more devastating than she ever could have imagined and the possibility of repair seemed too much to ask. She wished she could go back to the way things had before, when their relationship was one of easy friendship and she could approach him for comforting conversation. Now he had changed the dynamic between with unspoken words and she didn’t know what to do. Elliana was unsure what she wanted to do, she just knew she that she missed him.  
They arrived in the meeting place in the dark of night, a grove of trees among long abandoned stone ruins that were ominously lit. The leader of the magi circle approached her, cloaked so she could barely see his face. “Inquisitor, an honor to see you again. I hope we can help you with this matter. I must warn you it will be extremely painful, but we should be able to attach the arm and allow it to work as your one of flesh once did. Infusing the ruins with magic should make it as if it were your own”.  
Elliana cautiously stepped into the circle as they gathered around her, the obsidian arm attached to her stump with straps hooked on her armor. The mages began chanting and the air became heavy with the sense of magic she had felt many times before. It started as a tingling on her stump, then progressed to a burning sensation. The glass arm pressed against her skin had felt initially cool but began to feel more so, to the point of freezing as if it was suddenly made of ice. More burning, then pain and then she was in agony. She cried out, vaguely aware that Cullen had moved forward to break the circle only to be held back by Cassandra. She screamed raising the arm above her head as it was encapsulated with light. And then all went dark and mages chanting ceased. She was left panting on her knees in the middle of the circle. The obsidian arm was alight with glowing runes and which flashed and then extinguished. She raised it, thinking to flex her new dark extremity, which to her surprise responded. She had spent hours that evening firing arrows and re-honing her targeting skill. Her face alights with joy for the first time in years.  
Now as she rounded the next corner of the deep tunnels they were scouting, Cullen, Harding and Cassandra close behind, she tightened her obsidian hands grip on her bow. Her keen hunter’s sense told her to be prepared. “There is something very large and very unfriendly up ahead.I can feel it “ said Elliana to the group.  
“Can’t imagine anything nastier than that Wyvern living down here. I….” Scout Harding was interrupted by a thick massive tube falling from the cave ceiling knocking her down. The whole party spun in shock looking towards Scout Harding, only to see what looked like a long thick vine that had detached itself from the roof of the cave and ran several yards behind them to well in front of Elliana. Then it began wriggling and writhing and they knew it was no subterranean vegetative growth. It had a sickly brownish hue and now that Elliana looked closely it appeared to be sticky and slick with some kind of moisture.  
“It’s alive!” exclaimed Cassandra with a horrified expression as she watched the end of the worm type creature swivel around to expose a head that consisted of a circular mouth lined with razor sharp teeth.  
Elliana quickly loosened two arrows into the creature, hitting once in the mouth which appeared to pain it greatly, while the other arrow bounced harmlessly off its skin.  
“Its skin is armored” yelled Cullen who had swung his great sword in attempt to decapitate the creature.  
Elliana heard movement on the other end, whirling around while simultaneously notching another arrow. Isn’t that nice she thought. It has two heads. She was met with another vicious set of teeth attached to the length of withering flesh that stretched along the tunnel ahead of her. Using a move she had perfected over the years of adventuring with the Inquisition, she did a back flip and loosened an arrow at the creature. This one was also deflected off its skin. Damn  
“Steel isn’t hurting it” cried Cassandra. “ Blast it! This is why we should have brought a mage!”. Unfortunately the mages at the College could not draw attention of the Chantry by joining the now disbanded Inquisition underground efforts and Dorian could not abandon his position as magister. They had no apostate to join them this time, and the lack of a magic welder had been foreseen as problematic.  
Elliana knew Cassandra was right, they may be able to dispose of the creature by aiming for its mouth, but a magic would be far more effective. With this thought she felt a sudden pulsing in her left arm. She had been warned about this by the mages at the college. “There is magic left within you from the anchor and…from something else. I cannot say what” the head mage had said. “There may be some advantages to this arm. What they may be I cannot say”.  
Similar to the rush of power she felt when she had the anchor, Elliana now felt a surge of energy coming down her arm. She focused there, willing to push the energy through her hand and into her bow. The runes inscribed on her arm now blazed alight and she felt the energy move into her weapon. Flame she willed and fired an arrow at the horrific two headed worm. The shot hit the creature with a fiery explosion, destroying it into a sickening unrecognizable mess that landed heavily on the ground.  
The other end of the worm opened its mouth in a horrific screech and Cullen’s seized the opportunity, driving his sword down the creature’s maw, killing it instantly.  
“Wow!” said Harding excitedly, “How did you do that?” staring at Elliana’s arm which was slowly dimming.  
“So that’s what the mages meant by unexpected benefits” commented Cassandra.  
“I suppose so…” replied Elliana “Let’s hope that was the only one of these “she said kicking the worm’s corpse.  
“Sorry, It wasn’t this bad a couple of years ago” said Harding somewhat sullenly.  
They continued down the cave’s corridor until at last they entered a large cavern. Ah, this is why Harding selected this spot thought Elliana. The tunnel opened up into vast cavern that met with the rushing waters of an underground river. This river was in part fed by an opening at the top of the cavern, in which a waterfall fell cascading down. The walls of the cavern had a number of deep holes and tunnels themselves, likely from when ages ago the river had been fuller and slowly eroded the walls of cave down, creating useful nooks and smaller caverns.  
“This has potential” said Cullen admiringly, Harding beamed.  
“We could seal off the front entrance with a hidden door easily” began Harding “ and build a lift through the waterfall for supplies. We should make sure there is another exit as well…… you know…” she said looking pointedly at Elliana’s arm “ in case of fires”.  
“Barring a major insect infestation, I think we have found our new home” said Cassandra marveling at the structure of the cavern.  
Yes. Thought Elliana, our new home but for how long?  
The small group made quick order of any nesting creatures that remained in the cavern. It was found that the river led out into a valley on the other side of the small mountain in which the cave was hidden under. The valley would be accessible by boats that could be ridden along the river in case of escape of alternative exit. Scout Harding left the next day to report to Lilliana and begin summoning the others. Cassandra, Cullen and Elliana spent the next several days exploring the cavern and beginning the preparations to make it somewhat livable. Cullen was polite, helpful and courteous as always. But he would still not meet Elliana’s eyes.  
“You must talk with him” encouraged Cassandra obviously not unaware of the tension between the two.  
Elliana sighed “ I hardly know what to say”.  
“Say what’s in your heart” said Cassandra, her eyes gleaming with emotion, once again exposing her romantic inclinations.  
Over the next few days their comrades began arriving, some accompanied with familiar faces as well as new ones.  
Iron Bull arrived with his chargers and half a dozen new recruits which he lovingly referred to as charglings. Maryden was also with them, staying in close proximity to Krem. Iron Bull exclaimed loudly upon seeing Elliana “ I see you have gotten yourself a new arm aya boss! Wonder how you wrestle with that thing, we shall have to see!” nearly knocking her over with a slap on the back.  
He was followed in short order with Varric who had escaped his duties as Viscount under the guise of a much needed vacation to work on his new book, he said this with a very deliberate wink.  
Elliana was pleased to see Blackwall arrive, who had brought several rather rough looking fellows, men he had freed from the darkest dungeons. Blackwall’s companions spent the better part of twenty minutes bowing to her and thanking her for the opportunity, stating they weren’t worthy. “ Great. It’s like having five more Blackwall’s around” muttered Varric.  
Finally Sera arrived, though she decided to make her entrance riding down the waterfall, laughing hysterically as she plunged into the river. “ Again!”. This vexed Lilianna greatly as no one had been told there was an opening to the cave through the waterfall. Taking the more conventional route, Dagna emerged from the tunnel entrance obviously having had traveled with Sera.  
When everyone had finally come, made introductions and generally enjoyed the reunion, the group gathered in the vaulted chamber at the make shift table Cullen had constructed in their days waiting.  
“You all know why we are here” started Elliana “what we know is that Solas is the Dread Wolf, he has been amassing an elven force and he means to tear down the veil and destroy this world to restore the ancient world of the elves. That’s putting it simply”.  
“We mean to stop him, hopefully by making him see reason” interjected Lilianna “ but as we learned with the Inquisition, his reach has grown far and he is familiar with our innermost functioning’s. We can no longer operate in the open”.  
“So we are amassing a secret society to stop the Dread Wolf” said Varric “ got it”.  
“This will be our base of operations and a number of you have begun recruiting discreetly already, but we need a way of communicating that will not be detected by the agents of Fen’harel” continued Lilianna.  
“And this is where I come in” said Varric stepping forward “as you know I am a popular writer all over Thedas. Lilliana and I have come up with a way in which to pass information within my books that will only be readable to those who have cypher to decode it”.  
The two of them continued to explain that within the texts of Varric’s novels and short stories, which he published at an alarming rate, he would communicate major notes to members of the organization and each of them would be required to memorize the code to decipher it.  
“What’s more, we can use songs written by Maryden” the bard at Krem’s side smiled in acknowledgement “to relay messages, rendezvous whatever we need” said Lilianna. “We can essentially communicate all across the land without Solas knowing. Our intel will be right in front of everyone, where he will never look”.  
“Not unlike the tongue of slaves they use in Tavinter” said Iron Bull “ they use secret markings to communicate with one another.  
“In fact, it was Dorian that gave me the very idea” replied Varric “using symbols would be useful as well, especially for letting new recruits know where this place is or other meeting places”.  
“Right” interrupted Sera “ as the leading authority here on secret whatchmacallems, I would just like to say that it’s all well and good to come up with these notes and what have you, but you need to be called something. Or nobody is going to know what you’re all about. Like Red Jenny. She’s red because…well blood and Jenny. Because you know. There was some girl named Jenny”.  
“So what you’re saying” asked Cullen “is that we need to call ourselves something. A name that will mean something”.  
“Exactly! But nothing super obvious. Can’t call us the ‘Inquisition against Solas’ or whatever. Has to be something that means something to people who are willing to fight for us, but don’t give us away to them elfy sonafabithches”.  
The group contemplated this, nodding in agreement and waiting for the eccentric elf girl to continue. The room went silent, all eyes upon Sera. She sat legs dangling of the table seemingly unaware that everyone was waiting for her go on. She casually began picking at her teeth before she became aware of the expectant eyes upon her.  
“What?! Come up with your own friggin name! I can’t do all the work”.  
This led to a flood of suggestions from the room, those including The Hunters of the Dread Wolf, Andraste’s Scorn and The Iron Dragons. “Too obvious Bull” said Varric.  
Cullen suddenly stepped in close to Elliana placing his hand upon her obsidian one, she jolted surprised at the contact ,but he held firmly to her hand. “The Order of the Glass Hand” he whispered.  
“Yes, that’s perfect” exclaimed Sera. “And look here’s your symbol!” she knocked over a nearby bottle of ink spilling the contents on the table, grabbed Elliana’s hand placing it into the ink and then slamming it against the cavern wall, creating a black handprint.  
“Looks like you’re in it again boss” said Iron Bull on Elliana’s right side.  
Fuck was all Elliana could think.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Later that night after details of the Order’s infrastructure and planning had finished, Elliana returned to her quarters. After several hours of pouring over a copy of “Elven Legends and Myths: A scholars review” and finding nothing useful in understanding Solas' intentions, Elliana decided to walk by the river in the main cavern. The moonlight streamed through the waterfall opening, alighting the cavern allowing her to see where she was going.  
She was postponing sleep she knew. It was the dreams that prevented her from seeking slumber. They had been vague and difficult to remember at first. But every night since her last meeting with Solas in the Eluvian they had grown clearer and clearer. They always started the same, she was in a dense forest, bow in hand, a quiver full of arrows on her back. She was hunting, running through the woods, but unsure what exactly she was seeking. And then she would see him, the great dark wolf in the distance. Staring at her with all too knowing eyes. Eyes that portrayed beyond a lifetime of grief, sadness and longing. She would try to call out to him , run frantically to reach him. But he always turned away and she would follow rushing through the dense brush of the fade. Using all her speed and skill to catch up to him, sobs caught in her throat.  
She never reached him and every time she woke up it was like she back in the Eluvian again, her hand disintegrating in front of her and her lover walking away from her.  
I will never forget you…  
She did not want chase him tonight, not when the evening had brought so much hope and yes, joy of seeing her old friends again. She approached the river leaning against the natural wall of stone that arose from the bank. Phosphorescent mushrooms glowed with the moonlight around cavern and the sound of the rushing water was almost hypnotic. She had the same feeling of anticipation, fear and hope she had had in the first days of the Inquisition at Haven. When they were no more than a rag tag group of a couple soilders and she had no idea what she was doing. She still doesn’t.  
She was lost in this thought when she heard the soft male voice behind her.  
“Trouble sleeping?”  
Elliana turned to see Cullen approaching, out of his usual armor and wearing a simple tunic and breeches.  
“Yes, I …I have dreams. They allow me little sleep”.  
“I know what that’s like, believe me” he said joining her on the stone outcrop, leaning his elbows beside her.  
“You did well today” he said gently.  
“I think we all did”  
“Yes. I uh….I have been meaning to talk to you” Cullen started awkwardly.  
Elliana felt her heart jump in her throat “ And I you”.  
“Let me go first” said Cullen “ I should not have judged you for wanting to redeem Solas. His intentions are not evil. He thought he was doing something just and right all those ages ago. And then he awoke to the world as he knew it completely destroyed, his people oppressed and laid low. I can only imagine the grief and responsibility he feels. I think…well I think even if you did not love him…if he was one of us. That is, if he was just your friend, you would still try to change his mind”.  
Elliana reflected on this and could not deny that were it Iron Bull, Dorian or one the many people she held dear, those people who she knew were inherently good, she would fight for their salvation too.  
“The fact that you love him” continued Cullen “Just makes it that much harder for you to see him go on this path. You are a better person than I. You see the redeemable in the unredeemable. I mean look at Blackwall. Look at the Gray Wardens. Look at me” referring to his disclosure about the Feralden circle. “You see hope, where others are quick to condemn”.  
She looked up at him, gently smiling. How does he do this? Take what feels like the most impossible decisions she has had to make and make them seem like she made the right one everytime.  
“Thank you Cullen, I don’t know if I deserve it, but thank you”.  
“You do and so much more” replied Cullen turning to place his golden eyes upon her ice blue ones. “ I just…I just believe you deserve a man who would burn the world down to be at your side. Not a man who leaves you because he must destroy the world”.  
The simple honestly of his statement and the ease of his manner put Elliana off guard. Falling back into the easy flirtatious rapport they had always had, she said without thinking “Have anyone in mind?” a playful smirk on her face.  
“Yes” his deep voice replied.  
As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew it was unfair to say them, but before she could respond, his arms were around her pulling her in close to his body. His mouth was on hers, soft but firm and demanding at the same time. She gasped in surprise, but then even more surprising, she melted into him. Her mouth opened to his in response, her body folded into his much larger one. He smelled of leather and rich oil. And of human male, a musky sweet smell that made her dizzy in the most delicious way.  
She stayed there locked in his arms, breathless with his powerful kiss. A feeling of longing which had long been repressed by grief began to emerge within her. It was as if her heart had been frozen in sadness and his kiss had cracked it open, spilling open a flood of emotions she had denied were there.  
He slowly pulled away from her, drawing his hands across her abdomen, each move electricity against her skin. Slowly his hands drew away from her waist and he stepped back looking at her. His eyes were gentle, but firm and true.  
“When you are ready, I’ll be here for you. I am always here for you” He said softly. “My lady” he bowed and walked away, leaving Elliana to raise a trembling hand to her mouth which was still burning from his kiss.  
Walking on unsteady legs she returned to her makeshift quarters and settled into bed. Sleep finally found her after hours of fitfully turning, thinking of that kiss and still sensing the places his hands had firmly grasped her. Finally she drifted to sleep, but in her dreams the wolf waited and her hunt began and ended as it always did.


End file.
